H1N1 and my opinion of it

H1N1 is screwing up a lot of things. It's irritating me. It's ruining the orientation wk that i could possibly go for and i don't know. I'm still v v v confused about this orientation thing, i can't freaking decide if i want to go or not, because it would mean a lot of uncomfortable situations! :( Upsetupsetupset. Anyway,

Crewing with bevo was good today, i enjoyed myself and missed school like crazy. It hit me today that there's nth much that can beat the ac spirit already because in nus all the ppl will be split up into different faculties so on and so forth. The ac spirit was good as it got! And now it won't be with me everyday anymore because i'm not in ac. And the foooooood. Where else on earth would you get meals below $4 at max?

Anyway. Tomorrow i have to decide if i want to go for orientation or not. Even though i'll miss the first two days. Okay i think i might. Even though the meter was nearing an 80:20 last night after talking to charisse, and even ms sang told me not to go but.... I don't know maybe it's worth a shot. :( I CANT MAKE UP MY MIND.

Aus trip in like, a week plus' time, i haven't thought of what i want to bring yet! And i spent a bomb on a presnt, and my birthday's going to suck because anyone worth spending the time with isn't free on the day itself, and .. I don't know i'm just not excited anymore. I'm genuinely Not excited =.=

And i'm irritated with h1n1, screwing up my plans like crazy. I was in a good mood today after the whole EXERT YOURSELF AND SWEAT AND EAT LESS thing then i looked at the stupid weighing scale and nothing much has changed. I hate my weight and the way i look and it's nobody's fault but mine because i love coke, and good yummy carbs, which is probably the major reason why. Bev told me today that she's taking up some intensive self defense class i think i shall do that for a sport. And maybe JUST MAYBE i'll join something sporty in uni, time to change myself back to my crazy lose weight self i can't keep being so discontented with the way i look for my entire life.

Say goodbye to coke (which is why ac's good too since there's no coke thre at all, to buy) and pasta and noodles and omg :( upset. It's just a rant and coach carter is taking forever to upload so maybe i'll just go back to one tree hill and have an early night in; i made my dad pick me up from ac after crew finished just now because i was super tired and didn't want an hour long bus ride home and i think i temporarily died in the car. So. Early night i guess! Church tmr, and sara's party, what a daaaay! And maybe i'll ask carol about the going down to sign up for oweek thing, i figure if i just force myself and sign up when i get back from Cairns i'll probably take a week to get used to it and go in the end. or i could just now go. ZOMG confusing.

Now there's another problem because the trip clashes semi with oweek because the arts&social sciences club wants a seven day quarantine. Gosh. I'm irritated.

The DEP exam thing was a half day in the end not a full day because madam let Bev and I go home early, they had too many crew. Spent the morning yawning and helping set up Istilah's set and considering i'm so scared of heights it does amaze me how i can even be near excited for parasailing when bev and i go to cairns. My mind is so complex i think it's a joke sometimes.

So i came home at like, 1plus and had a nice cold shower, sat with my hair in a turban and dozed off in ebtween two episodes of one tree hill s6, it's been eons since i had to wake up at the 6something ish timings, let alone 5 something this morning, so i was grateful for the short day. I really do miss ac, i had omelette noodles for breakfast and beef noodles for lunch and boy i felt like a freaking pig -.-" So much for my diet, but i went for some hardcore jog yesterday because i was annoyed with something and felt so much better after doing so. I guess it evens out considering there was no coke today!

Still very undecided about arts o week, one hand it's the opportunity to make new friends, the other is what's the point if i miss the first two days? Shouldn't've left arts camp early but whatever. I make my decisions and don't regret them. My head is swimming with to go or not to go, i'm definitely not rushing down tomorrow i don't see the point if i can't decide so maybe i'll just do it on saturday before heading to church for youth sunday prac.

Oh boggleboggleboggle. Facebook is finally getting a little boring! At one point it used to be so exhiliratingly fun hurhurhur, maybe i finally have a life now. Fong shu xin and i went out for lunch yesterday after the nus med check up and we took quite a few photos but i'm just too damn laazy to upload the photos... I am waywayway too lazy to begin with. I liked today. It was sleepy and boring after the whole drama hype and HEEHEE CONGRATS JAS for leaving union camp early, join the club babe.

1.5 weeks to the trip which im now considering if the timing was a badidea since it interferes with orientation, this is so messed up. I swore i would be more enthu than my sis because she skipped all her orientation stuff but the recent turn of events has left me to realize that i think i'm not that interested in being enthu anymore. Kelly isn't either! But that's a different story cause kelly's so much more amiable i don't care how much she denies it.

I'm just rambling. Early night tonight because tmr's another 5am killer; i miss ac, the people, the food, the everything. I never felt like that for mg before though my closest friends come from mg, but yeah. AC brings many good memories and everytime i'm there it always makes me thrilled and i think part of me spent so much time there because of council and drama that it really and will always feel like a second home to me :)

Over and out!

1095

Sitting in my room air con on, it's raining heavily outside, Brian Littrell's playing on youtube, i'm cold yet i'm feeling warm and fuzzy, my head's crowded with thoughts.
My best friend's sick, i don't know if it's h1n1 GOOD LORD if it is, because there goes the a level dep crew thing which i've been looking forward to because though it's saikang i need to. Exert myself, and get my lazy ass moving. Nothing beats being in ac anywway, it's not like i can't get over ac, but i like being there! AND I'D GET TO EAT OMELETTE NOODLES, endless milo bottles, ytf with the best curry in the world :) I miss school. And then there's the trip in about 2 weeks time, shit -.-" Also, 18th (hopefully) may be my last saturday morning shift because on the 25th, i'm beginning bible study and i can't wait :) So. THERE'S SO MUCH LEFT. I hope she's not sick with h1n1  omg omg omg the whole world is getting it already it's so scary.
Met kelly for prata and noodles (we didn't eat that much we shared both dishes) so i'm kindaa hungry still. I love meeting up with friends whom i don't get to see for a very long time, = the warm and fuzzy feeling! :) watched a nice movie and it made me feel v v v warm and fuzzy inside too :) It's quite an elusive movie actually, so the fact that i finally understand what the show was about (the trailer didn't give much hints) is quite great! I'm glad i watched it haha

I've got work later pl;us i was supposed to get the flu jab..... What's the point of getting the jab if i might get it because i just watched transformers with my best friend yesterday!! :( :( Zomg i'm quite worried, and i need to go practice with my stupid contact lenses as well SUCCESS WILL COME SOON AND I SHALL WALK OUT OF MY HOUSE TRIUMPHANT. Okay. Rather random update but okay i'm still happy. Bye!

PS i haven't taken any phenomenally interesting photos recently it's like a dry spell :(

For what matters

I'm so bored, i'm watching jurassic park Omg -.-" I amaze myself, two days ago i watched bring it on 3 one of my super favourite versions of bring it on.

Since i had a sudden interest in watching Jurassic Park, there was this dinner table conversation my family and i had about movies, what we understood of them (I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS SO MUCH TO JP) and how me and my sis used to watch the movies: my maid said i used to like, scream in terror if i was scared so someone would have to accompany me to watch the freaky show.

Anyway. this coming week is rlly busy! :)In a good way, i think. I'm tutoring tmr, watchin transformers, then on tues i've got brunch with kelly, flu jab and a night shift, wed i've got the nus health check up with shu and fong after which i think we're going to iluma to check it out, marble slab's open! On thurs and fri i'm helping out with dep crew in ac from 630 am to 7 pm and on sat there's youth sunday preparations and sara's 19th house party.

Speaking of being scared, each day since arts camp has made me very wary of what's going to happen when school starts. I thought it'd be cool, that i'd get to have lots of fun since i'm going to get to know more people. Now about o week, i'm not even sure if i want to sign up. I don't have to, but i don't know maybe i should try the whole be enthusiastic thing that made me go for drama, run for council, i don't know. This whole forcing myself thing is getting a bit old to me because despite the fact that most of the time it works out for the better, NOT ALL THE TIME!

I'm talking in circles. I cant wait for this week to come along, each day seems to be fun and fun :) Must appreciate what's left of the super long 8 month holiday!!!!

Soulfood

I tried to figure it out
Time and time again
And time again
I guess there's just some things i'll never understand
Cause Your ways aren't our ways
But deep down in my soul, down in my soul
There is one thing that i know i know:

I'm in over my head
I'm right where i wanna be
So lost within Your love,
The love that always covers me
So high so deep so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head

I've been holding on
And now i'm letting go,
Just letting go
Gonna let Your love take me away
I don't know where i'm going
But i'm surrounded by the truth
I can feel the current pulling me
Deeper and deeper into You

I'm in over my head
Right where i wanna be
So lost within Your love, the love that always covers me

I heard this song randomly and there isn't actually a video to it, but i prefer youtube videos that just have the song in good quality, not the kind of live singing thing, so. This song.. Well. I've felt closer to God recently with what's happened in the past week: thanks to all who i told, and for the comfort :)

I'm glad i'm becoming just a little more involved in church, it takes baby steps! And i'm excited to start bible study though everyone says it'll be hardcore, i can't imagine a better way to begin my 19th year ahead (discipleship begins on my birthday!) and to begin uni life with. With all that's happened and more i've realized that uni isn't going to be a pretty picture: my impression has definitely changed. So i'll just have to face it head on i guess.

Meeting up with quite a few friends this week because of my extreme spare pocket of time made me realize i should've just applied to nus law, it's not something i mind doing, just not something i can imagine myself doing well at, and not that i think i would've gotten in given my Gp C but well, i don't know the rest of my grades were fine and i Think they might've given me an interview? I'm more sad about the fact that quite a few of my closer friends are going there and that i realize fass doesn't really seem so friendly with friendly faces after all.

Enough said. Night